高中幽默的英语小故事

BigHead“Allthekidsmakefunofme”theboycriedtohismother.“TheysayIhaveabighead”“Don'tlistentothem.”hismotherfortedhim.“Youhaveabeautifulhead.Nowstopcryingandgotothestorefortenpoundsofpotatoes”“Where'stheshoppingbag?”“Ihaven'tgotone,useyourhat.”大脑袋“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”“购物袋在哪？”“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”GoodBoyLittleRobertaskedhismotherforocents.WhatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?Igaveittoapooroldwoman,heanswered.You'reagoodboy,saidthemotherproudly.Hereareocentsmore.Butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman?Sheistheonewhosellsthecandy.好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。”Whereisthefather?Twobrotherswerelookingatsomebeautifulpaintings.Look,saidtheelderbrother.Hownicethesepaintingsare!Yes,saidtheyounger,butinallthesepaintingsthereisonlythemotherandthechildren.Whereisthefather?Theelderbrotherthoughtforamomentandthenexplained,Obviouslyhewaspaintingthepictures.父亲在哪儿？兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”　　1、NoTimetoTakeItOffDickwearingapairofnewtrouserswenttogetherwithhisfathertohisaunt'shouse.Atthesightoftheboy'snewtrousers,hisauntadmiredverymuchandkissedhimfavorably.Infrontoftheboy,thereweremanynicecakesandchocolates.Hiscousinalsotookoutallhistoysandplayedwithhim.Theboyenjoyedagooddaythere.Whilehewentbackhomewithhisfather,hewassojoyfulthathesanganddancedalongthewayhome.suddenlyheslippedandfellintothemudandhistrousersgotverydirty.Whenhegothome,hismothersawhisdirtytrousersandsaid:Oh,whatamess!Thisisnotthefirsttimeyouehomelikethat,andthistimeyouarewearingyournewtrousers!Iamsorry,mum,saidDick.ButIhadnotimetotakemynewtrousersoffwhenIfelldown.

2、A***ilingboyarrivedhomefromadentalvisit,Heymom,thedentistsaysIhavenocavities.Hismomstaredathimwide-eyedandquitesurprised,It'simpossible--youneverbrushyourteethaftercleaningthechocolateboxbeforeyougotobed!Thentheboyopenedhismouth--hehadnotatoothleft!英文笑话：我没有蛀牙/NoCavities小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！”这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。？

/3、I'mTryingtoStopItBoy,whyhaveyougotcotton-woolinyourear?Isitinfected?No,sir,butyousaidyesterdaythateverythingyoutoldmewentinoneearandouttheother,soIamtryingtostopit.“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？”“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”/4、“I'msorry，Madam，butIshallhavetochargeyouentydollarsforpullingyourboy'stooth.”“Twentydollars!Why，Iunderstandyoutosaythatyouchargedonlyfourdollarsforsuchwork!”“Yes，butthisyoungsteryelledsoterriblythathescaredfourotherpatientsoutoftheoffice.”“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”/5、：Teacher：Weallknowthatbeatcausesanobjecttoexpandancoldcaueseittocontract.Now，cananyonegivemeagoodexample?John：Well，inthesummerthedaysarelong，andinthewinterthedaysareshort.老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在谁给我举个例子？约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。