英语幽默故事演讲比赛

WhenJackbowedtosomeone,healwaysdiditatlighteningspeed.Youshouldn'twaitanylongerafterhehashadhisheadnod.Sohewasblamedfornomanners.Thensomewarmheartedmentaughthim,Whenyoubowtosomebodynexttime,youcancount'January,February,March.untilDecember.Thenyoucanliftyourbodyup.Thus,theceremonywillbeperfect.Thenextday,hemethisuncle,hedidasthementoldhim.Thebowwassolongthatitmadehisunclefeelsurprisedandescapedawaysoon.WhenJacklookedup,hefoundhisunclegone.Soheaskedthepasser,Whichmonthdidhegoaway?杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说，“下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。这样礼节就周全了。”第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便问过路人：“我叔叔几月走的？”FoxandcockOnemorningafoxseesacock.Hethink,Thisismybreakfast.''Heesuptothecockandsays,Iknowyoucansingverywell.Canyousingforme?''Thecockisglad.Hecloseshiseyesandbeginstosing.Thefoxseesthatandcacheshiminhismouthandcarrieshimaway.Thepeopleinthefieldseethefox.Theycry,Look,look!Thefoxiscarryingthecockaway.''Thecocksaystothefox,MrFox,doyouunderstand?Thepeoplesayyouarecarryingtheircockaway.Tellthemitisyours.Nottheirs.''Thefoxopenshismouthangsays,Thecockismine,notyours.''Justthenthecockrunsawayfromthefoxandfliesintothetree.狐狸和公鸡一天早上，一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想：这是我的早餐。他朝公鸡走来，对他说：“我知道，你能唱得非常好听，你能唱给我听么？”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：“看，看！狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生，你能理解么？人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的，不是他们的。”狐狸张开她的嘴说：“公鸡是我的，不是你们的。”就在那时，。公鸡跑到了树底下。　　ASimpleGesturebyJackieSagnerAlittleboysellingmagazinesforschoolwalkeduptoahousethatpeoplerarelyvisited.Thehousewasveryoldandrundownandtheownerhardlyevercameout.Whenhedideouthewouldnotsayhellotoneighborsorpassersbybutsimplyjustglareatthem.Theboyknockedonthedoorandwaited,sweatingfromfearoftheoldman.Theboy'sparentstoldhimtostayawayfromthehouse,alotoftheotherneighborhoodchildrenweretoldthesamefromtheirparents.Ashewasreadytowalkaway,thedoorslowlyopened.Whatdoyouwant?theoldmansaid.Thelittleboywasveryafraidbuthehadaquotatomeetforschoolwithsellingthemagazines.Uh,sir,IuhamsellingthesemagazinesanduhIwaswonderingifyouwouldliketobuyone.Theoldmanjuststaredattheboy.Theboycouldseeinsidetheoldman'shouseandsawthathehaddogfigurinesonthefireplacemantle.Doyoucollectdogs?thelittleboyasked.Yes,Ihavemanycollectiblesinmyhouse,theyaremyfamilyhere,theyareallIhave.Theboythenfeltsorryfortheman,asitseemedthathewasaverylonelysoul.Well,Idohaveamagazinehereforcollectors,itisperfectforyou,Ialsohaveoneaboutdogssinceyoulikedogssomuch.Theoldmanwasreadytoclosethedoorontheboyandsaid,Noboy,Idon'tneedanymagazinesofanykind,nowgoodbye.Thelittleboywassadthathewasnotgoingtomakehisquotawiththesale.Hewasalsosadfortheoldmanbeingsoaloneinthebighousethatheowned.Theboywenthomeandthenhadanidea.Hehadalittledogfigurethathegotsomeyearsagofromanaunt.Thefigurinedidnotmeannearlyasmuchtohimsincehehadareallivedogandalargefamily.Theboyheadedbackdowntotheoldman'shousewiththefigurine.Heknockedonthedooragainandthistimetheoldmancamerighttothedoor.Boy,IthoughtItoldyounomagazines.No,sirIknowthat,Iwantedtobringyouagift.Theboyhandedhimthefigurineandtheoldman'sfacelitup.ItisaGoldenRetriever,Ihaveoneathome,thisoneisforyou.Theoldmanwassimplystunned;noonehadevergivenhimsuchagiftandshownhimsomuchkindness.Boy,youhaveabigheart,whyareyoudoingthis?Theboy***iledatthemanandsaid,Becauseyoulikedogs.Fromthatdayontheoldmanstartedingoutofthehouseandacknowledgingpeople.Heandtheboybecamefriends;theboyevenbroughthisdogtoseethemanweekly.Thissimplegesturechangedbothoftheirlivesforever.一个励志类的小故事，不知LZ是否满意　　金发美眉和出租车我开车上班。应该注意的是，我的车不差，作为出租车，这款是非常强调他人舒适性的，令人如沐春风。甜蜜的早晨预感就有艳遇，真是奇迹，果然碰到穿着比基尼的翘臀金发美眉。我停车让她开门。她举止优雅没看我，用带有魔力的声音向我问早。我回说早带些微嘲弄和欣喜的，“你好么，感觉怎样”我继续为仙女而着迷。---“还好，谢谢”两人关系愉快的进展着。----“我昨天整晚都梦到你”突然我的这位美眉乘客说。顿时我荷尔蒙汹涌澎湃，我还能怎么回答呢，傻乎乎地咯咯笑讲了句很天才的话：“你知道么，我有预感今天遇见你。”突然，她变得很奇怪，用她的眼睛悲哀地看着我，却对着别的地方空气说：“对不起，亲爱的，我进出租车了，现在不方便说话，晚点再打给你...TheBlondeandTaxiIgotoworkbymycar.ItshouldbenotedthatthecarIhavenotthepoor,andasataxi,thismodelcanbeusedonlycrazyaltruistmadlylovingpeople.Likemoodwow,thesunisshining,springfeel.Heartofthemorningsweetmakeanoiseinanticipationofromanceandhereitis...miracle...Shouldvotingkick-assblondewithafigureofthegoddessofthemini-bikini.Istop,sheopenstherightfrontdoor.Gracefullymakesherdivinebodyandhappilynotlookingatmewithamagicalvoicesays:-Hello-HelloalittleitanddelightedattheunexpectedfamiliarityIreplied.-Howareyoudoing,howyoufeel?continuestofascinateme,fairy.-Nothing,thankyou!happilysupporttherapidlydevelopingrelationship.-AndyoualllastnightIdreamed.Suddenlysaidmyprelesnayapassenger.WhatelsecouldIrespondinasuddenstartedhormonalsurge.Istupidlygiggledandgaveabrilliantphrase-Youknow,Ialsoforesawameetingtodaywithyou.Suddenlysheseemedstrangelyandsadlylookedatmewithhiseyesandsayssomewhereintheemptiness-I'msorrydear,I'vesatinataxi,Iamnotnowveryeasytotalk,I'llcallyoulater...