经典搞笑的英语段子

熬夜对身体不好，所以我建议你通宵。Stayinguplateisnotgoodforyourhealth,soIsuggestyoustayupallnight.整理了一些英语说说大全，欢迎大家阅读！

1、我胖了才显得你瘦，免得我瘦的时候显得你丑。Iamfattolookthin,sothatIdon'tlookuglywhenIamthin.

2、在街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏，目光低一点就是流氓。Lookingatbeautiesinthestreet,thehigheroneisappreciation,andtheloweroneisrogue.

3、如果你主动一点，我们不光会有故事，还会有孩子。Ifyoutaketheinitiative,wewillnotonlyhavestories,butalsochildren.

4、这个世间只有圆滑，没有圆满的。Thisworldonlysmooth,notperfect.

5、我喜欢交朋友，但不喜欢供祖宗。Iliketomakefriends,butIdon'tliketooffersacrificestomyancestors.

6、黑夜给了我一双黑色的眼睛，可我却用它来翻白眼。Thenightgavemeapairofblackeyes,butIusedittoturnwhiteeyes.

7、即使失败99次，我也要继续下去，最起码凑个整，免得强迫症又犯了EvenifIfail99times,Iwillcontinue,atleasttomakeawhole,soasnottomakeanotherobsessive-compulsivedisorder!

8、我卖的了梦，装得了酷，我是超级无敌美少女。Isellthedream,pretendtobecool,Iamasuperinvinciblebeautygirl.

9、幸好追你的时候你重，跑不动。Fortunately,youareheavyandcan'trunwhenchasingyou.

10、谈一次恋爱，少一个朋友。Alove,lessfriends.11、早起的鸟儿有早饭吃，晚起的鸟儿有晚饭吃。Theearlybirdhasbreakfast,thelatebirdhassupper.

12、你那么甜，不适合风吹日晒，适合躺在我怀里。Youaresosweet,notsuitableforthewindandsun,suitableforlyinginmyarms.

13、我是水神，我为自己带盐！Iamthewatergod,Ibringsaltformyself!

14、自从放了暑假，我就把早餐给戒了。Sincethesummervacation,I'vegivenupbreakfast.

15、当初说好的不让我受一点委屈，果然不止一点点。IwasnotwrongedbywhatIsaidatthebeginning,anditwasindeedmorethanalittle.

16、减肥这种事从来不会船到桥头自然直，你这体重，没到桥头船就沉了。Thiskindofthingwillnevergostraightfrombridgetobridge.Yourweightwillsinkbeforebridge.

17、我真是个花心的人，暑假刚走了我就想着寒假。I'mreallyafloweryperson.Ithinkofwintervacationjustafterthesummervacation.

18、听君一席话，省我十本书。Listentoyourwords,savemetenbooks.

19、衣柜衣服千千万，只有新的最好看。Therearethousandsofclothesinthewardrobe,onlythenewonesarethebesttosee.

20、你是最好的，如果真有人比你好，我就装作没看见。Youarethebest.Ifsomeoneisbetterthanyou,IpretendIhaven'tseenit.

21、孔子不能解决的问题，老子帮你解决。IwillhelpyousolvetheproblemsthatConfuciuscan'tsolve.

22、车到山前必有路，有路我也刹不住。Theremustbeawaytogettothefrontofthemountain.Ican'tstopifthereisaway.

23、我们说好不分离，要一直一直在一起。Weagreednottoseparate,toalwaysbetogether.

24、别和我谈恋爱，虚伪，有本事咱俩结婚。Don'tfallinlovewithme.Hypocrisy.Wecangetmarried.

25、从来都不用化妆品，我保持年轻的秘诀就是，谎报年龄。Ineverusecosmetics.Thesecrettokeepyoungistolieaboutmyage.

26、每当我找到成功的钥匙，就有人偷偷把锁给换了。WheneverIfindthekeytosuccess,someonestealthilychangesthelock.27、愿你们都拥有人人羡慕的爱情，而我有钱就好。Iwishyouallhavethelovethateveryoneenvies,andIhavemoney.

28、大姨妈是吐血鬼，卫生巾是吸血鬼。Bigauntisaspittingbloodghost,sanitarynapkinisavampire.

29、怎么把脑子的钱转到银行卡里，在线等，急！Howtotransferthemoneyofbraintobankcard,online,etc.,urgent!

30、前面一只虫飞到我的数学题旁边，看了几眼题目死了。Abuginfrontofmeflewtomymathproblemandsawtheproblemdead.

31、想和你喝酒是假，想醉你怀里是真。Wanttodrinkwithyouisfalse,wanttodrunkyourarmsistrue.

32、待我日后嫁得良人，定谢你当年不娶之恩。IwillthankyoufornotmarryingwhenIammarried.

33、这世间，真心本就稀缺，更该俭省。Inthisworld,sincerityisscarce,evenmorefrugal.

34、青春就是疯狂的奔跑，然后华丽的跌倒。Youthiscrazyrunning,thengorgeousfall.

35、没有人不会累，只是每个人宣泄的方式不同，比如我：懒得说。Nooneisnottired,buteveryonehasdifferentwaysofventing,suchasme:lazytosay.

以上就是带给大家欣赏的英语说说大全，喜欢记得收藏！