关于有趣的英语笑话精选

　　民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事型别,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我精心收集了关于有趣的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

　　关于有趣的英语笑话篇1

　　GatesofHeaven

　　Aguyarrivesatthepearlygates,waitingtobeadmitted.St.PeterisreadingthroughtheBigBooktoseeiftheguy'snameiswritteninit.Afterseveralminutes,St.Peterclosesthebook,furrowshisbrow,andsays,I'msorry,Idon'tseeyournamewrittenintheBook.

　　Howcurrentisyourcopy?heasks.

　　Igetadownloadeverytenminutes,St.Peterreplies,whydoyouask?

　　I'membarrassedtoadmitit,butIwasalwaysthestubborntype.ItwasnotuntilmydeathwasimmanentthatIcriedouttoGod,somynameprobablyhasn'tarrivedtoyourcopyyet.

　　I'mgladtohearthat,Petesays,butwhilewe'rewaitingfortheupdatetoethrough,cantellmeaboutareallygooddeedthatyoudidinyourlife?

　　Theguysthinksforamomentandsays,Humm,welltherewasthisonetimewhenIwasdrivin'downaroadandIsawagiantgroupofbikergangmembersharassingthispoorgirl.Isloweddown,andsureenough,theretheywere,about20of'emtorturingthispoorwoman.Infuriated,Igotoutmycar,grabbedatireironoutofmytrunk,andwalkeduptotheleaderofthegang.Hewasahugeguy;6-foot-4,260pounds,withastuddedleatherjacketandachainrunningfromhisnosetohisears.AsIwalkeduptotheleader,thebikersformedacirclearoundmeandtoldmetogetlostorI'dbenext.

　　SoIrippedtheleader'schainoutofhisfaceand***ashedhimovertheheadwiththetireiron.ThenIturnedaroundandyelledtotherestofthem,Leavethispoorinnocentgirlalone!You'reallabunchofSICK,derangedanimals!GohomebeforeIreallyteachyoualessoninPAIN!

　　St.Peter,dulyimpressed,saysWow!Whendidthishappen?

　　Aboutthreeminutesago.

　　关于有趣的英语笑话篇2

　　HappySinner

　　Uponenteringtheconfessional,ayoungwomenspilledthebeans,admitting:Lastnightmyboyfriendmademadpassionatelovetome--seventimes.

　　Thepriestthoughtlongandhard,thensaid,Takesevenlemonsandsqueezethemintoaglass,thendrinkit.

　　Theyoungwomanasked,Willthiscleansemeofmysins?

　　Thepriestsaid,No,butitwillwipethe***ileoffyourface.

　　关于有趣的英语笑话篇3

　　AReligiousBear?

　　Inthemiddleofaforest,therewasahunterwhowassuddenlyconfrontedbyahuge,meanbear.Inhisfear,allattemptstoshootthebearwereunsuccessful.Finally,heturnedandranasfastashecould.

　　Thehunterranandranandran,untilheendedupattheedgeofaverysteepcliff.Hishopesweredim.Seeingnowayoutofhispredicament,andwiththebearclosinginratherquickly,thehuntergotdownonhisknees,openedhisarms,andexclaimed,DearGod!Pleasegivethisbearsomereligion!

　　Theskiesdarkenedandtherewaslightningintheair.Justafewfeetshortofthehunter,thebearcametoanabruptstop,andglancedaround,somewhatconfused.

　　Suddenly,thebearlookedupintotheskyandsaid,Thankyou,God,forthefoodI'mabouttoreceive....

　　关于有趣的英语笑话篇4

　　YouGetWhatYouPrayFor

　　Thisladyapproachesapriestandtellshim,Father,Ihaveaproblem.Ihavethesetwotalkingfemaleparrots,buttheyonlyknowhowtosayonething.Theyonlyknowhowtosay,'Hi,we'reprostitutes.Doyouwanttohavesomefun?'

　　That'sterrible!thepriestexclaimed,butIhaveasolutiontoyourproblem.BringyourtwotalkingfemaleparrotsovertomyhouseandIwillputthemwithmytwomaletalkingparrotswhoItaughttoprayandreadthebible.MyparrotswillteachyourparrotstostopsayingthatterriblephraseandyourfemaleparrotswilllearntopraiseandworshiptheLord.

　　Thankyou!thewomanresponded.

　　Sothenextday,theladybringsherfemaleparrotstothepriest'shouse.Thepriest'stwomaleparrotsareholdingrosarybeadsandprayingintheircage.

　　Theladyputsherfemaleparrotsinwiththemaleparrotsandthefemaleparrotssay,Hi,weareprostitutes.Doyouwanttohavesomefun?

　　Onemaleparrotlooksoverattheothermaleparrotandexclaims,Putthebeadsaway.Ourprayershavebeenanswered!

　　关于有趣的英语笑话篇5

　　FOURCATHOLICLADIES

　　FourCatholicladiesarehavingcoffeetogether.Thefirstonetellsherfriends,Mysonisapriest.Whenhewalksintoaroom,everyonecallshim'Father'.

　　ThesecondCatholicwomanchirps,MysonisaBishop.Wheneverhewalksintoaroom,peoplesay,'YourGrace'.

　　ThethirdCatholicwomansays***ugly,MysonisaCardinal.Wheneverhewalksintoaroom,peoplesay,'YourEminence'.

　　ThefourthCatholicwomansipshercoffeeinsilence.ThefirstthreewomengiveherthissubtleWell.....?

　　Shereplies,Mysonisagorgeous,6'2,hardbodiedstripper.Whenhewalksintoaroom,peoplesay,'OhmyGod...'.