又短又好笑的英语笑话

又短又好笑的英语笑话

　　总是有些时候莫名其妙的不开心，心情不佳的时候就会办什么都不在状态，你会这样么?这里我收集整理了又短又好笑的英语笑话，让你的心情速速好起来。

　　又短又好笑的英语笑话一：Thecowboywithoutahorse　　Acowboyrodeintotownandstoppedatthesaloonforadrink.Unfortunately,thelocalsalwayshadahabitofpickingonnewcomers.Whenhefinished,hefoundhishorsehadbeenstolen.

　　Hecomesbackintothebar,handilyflipshisgunintotheair,catchesitabovehisheadwithoutevenlookingandfiresashotintotheceiling.Whostolemyhorse?heyelledwithsurprisingforcefulness.

　　Nooneanswered.

　　I'mgonnahaveanotherbeerandifmyhorseain'tbackoutsidebythetimeI'mfinished,I'mgonnadowhatIdunbackinTexasandIdon'twanttohavetodowhatIdunbackinTexas!

　　Someofthelocalsshiftedrestlessly.

　　Hehadanotherbeer,walkedoutside,andhishorsewasback!Hesaddledupandstarte.

　　又短又好笑的英语笑话二：HowToDealwithaDoberman　　Ahighlytimidlittleman,CasperMilquetoast,venturedintoabikerbarintheBronxandclearinghisthroatasked,'Um,err,whichofyougentlemenownstheDobermantiedoutsidetotheparkingmeter?'

　　Agiantofaman,wearingbikerleathers,hisbodyhairgrowingoutthroughtheseams,turnedslowlyonhisstool,lookeddownatthequiveringlittlemanandsaid,'It'smydog.Why?'

　　'Well,'squeakedthelittleman,obviouslyverynervous,'Ibelievemydogjustkilledit,sir.'

　　'What?'roaredthebigmanindisbelief.'Whatinthehellkindofdogdoyouhave?'

　　'Sir,'answeredthelittleman,'It'safourweekoldpuppy.'

　　'Bull!'roaredthebiker,'HowcouldyourpuppykillmyDoberman?'

　　'Itappearsthathechokedonit,sir.'

　　又短又好笑的英语笑话三：WhoisStupid?　　Ateacherwastryingtomakeuseofherpsychologycourses.Shestartedherclassbysaying,Everyonewhothinksyou'restupid,standup!

　　LittleJohnnythenstoodup.

　　Theteachersaid,Doyouthinkyou'restupid,Johnny?

　　No,ma'am,butIhatetoseeyoustandingthereallbyyourself!

　　中文：

　　一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，谁认为自己蠢就站起来?她一开始就说。

　　小约翰尼站了起来。

　　你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼?老师问。

　　不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。

　　又短又好笑的英语笑话四：IknewIcouldcountonyou!　　Smithgoestoseehisbossinthefrontoffice.Boss,hesays:we'redoingsomeheavyhouse-cleaningathometomorrow,andmywifeneedsmetohelpwiththeatticandthegarage.

　　We'reshort-handed,Smith.thebossreplies.Ican'tgiveyouthedayoff.

　　Thanks,boss,saysSmith,IknewIcouldcountonyou!

　　中文：

　　史密斯去找他的'老板。老板我们家明天有很重的工作要做，我妻子让我修阁楼和车库。

　　可我们很缺人，史密斯。老板答道我不可能放你的假。

　　谢谢，老板。史密斯说我就知道你会帮我。

　　又短又好笑的英语笑话五：Doginheat　　AlittlegirlaskedherMom,Mom,mayItakethedogforawalkaroundtheblock?Momsays,No,becausethedogisinheat.Whatdoesthatmean?askedthechild.Goaskyourfather.Ithinkheisinthegarage.

　　ThelittlegirlwenttothegarageandaskedDad,mayItakeSusieforawalkaroundtheblock?IaskedMom,butshesaidthatSusiewasinheat,andtocometalktoyou.

　　Dadsaid,BringSusieoverhereHetookarag,soakeditwithgasoline,andscrubbedthedog'srear-endwithitandsaid,Okay,youcangonow,butkeepSusieontheleashandonlygoonetimearoundtheblock.Thelittlegirlleft,andreturnedafewminuteslaterwithNODOGontheleash.

　　Dadasked,WhereisSusie?

　　Thelittlegirlsaid,Shewillbehereinaminute,sheranoutofgasabouthalfwaydowntheblockandanotherdogispushingherhome.