英语作文评论，我写的不是很好。

ShoppingontheNet

Nowadays,moreandmorepeoplebecomelazyandrich【个人倾向于richbutlazy】;inaddition,surf【surfing，后面已经有is】theInternetisbecome【becoming】moreandmore【建议换个表达方式，尽量不要连续重复使用】popular.SothatsomepeoplelikeshoppingontheNet.

Peopleholddifferentopinionsonthat.Somethinkthatshoppingonthenetisveryconvenient.Firstofall,wehaven’t【此处用作实义动词，don'thave】togotothemarkettiredlyandthentheservicestaffwillsend【前文没有指代商品，最好还是写清】toyourhomewithpresentlikeastar【这个我没看懂……】.Secondly,onthenethave【用therebe表达】allkindsofgoods,youcangoshoppingwithrecklessabandon.Lastbutnotleast,thegoodspricesonlineischeaperthanmarket.

However,someotherpeopleholdthatshopping`onthenetisharmfultopeople.Inthefirstplace,peoplelookatthegoods【建议改为goodspeoplesee】onlinemaybeis【已经有be了，is就是be动词，去掉】notreally【改为形容词，real】,inotherworlds【words==】,itispicture【可数名词，要不加a要不改复数】andmaybequalityisnotgood【thequalitymaynotbegood】.Inthesecondplace,onthenethaveafewfrauds【第二次出现该错误，对于物应用therebe】.Yougivehimorhersomemoneyforyourgoods【有点罗嗦，用pay即可】thatpitchonthenet.Butyoudon’tgainit【这里存在不确定性，原语义不通】.Asaresult,shoppingonthenetisnotsafe.

Inmyopinion,thisquestionshouldbeprobedindepth.Butformwhathasbeendiscussedabove,wecanseeclearlythatthemostimportantthingforusshoppingonthenet【is（that）】theadvantages【are】faroutweighthedisadvantages,becausenowmoreandmorewebsite【复数】aremorecomprehensiveforshoppingonthenet.

以上存在几个问题

1，动词。LZ去复习下几种动词的区别吧

2，物所有用therebe表达，不能用have

3，用词重复。像moreandmore就出现了三次，出现这种情况要尽量替换，尤其是开头结尾不要出现连续的重复用词。可以背一些常用的替换词，写作文会用得到

4，从句。从文中可以看出LZ是硬着头皮用从句，弄巧成拙了。建议收集相关从句自己分析比较仿写（参考书也是好物口牙！）

5，写作文的时候要考虑翻译成中文是否通顺，是否能表达出完整的意思。写完最好多读几遍，错误能免则免

LZ加油=v=