英语搞笑对话

　　笑是人天生表情的一部分，它没有人主观意识的驱动，是属于自发行为;而搞笑，则是人类主动去寻求快乐。下面是我给大家整理的，供大家参阅!

　　篇1

　　有一天，俺商店里来了个外国人买西餐料。他选好一样东西，俺就在计算器上摁出价钱给他看。当然俺有点不好意思了，而且俺还会句英语。

　　于是，俺就对他说：

　　“Iamsorry”。

　　“Iamsorry，too”外国人回答。

　　“Iamsorrythree”我道。

　　“Whatareyousorryfor?”外国人问。

　　“Iamsorryfive”我说……

　　男：CanIbuyyouadrink?我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?

　　女：ActuallyI''dratherhavethemoney.不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。

　　篇2

　　TEACHER:George,gotothemapandfindNorthAmerica.

　　GEORGE:Hereitis!

　　TEACHER:Correct.Now,class,whodiscoveredAmerica?

　　CLASS:George!

　　2.TEACHER:Ellen,givemeasentencestartingwithI.

　　ELLEN:Iis...

　　TEACHER:No,Ellen.Wealwayssay,Iam.

　　ELLEN:Allright...Iamtheninthletterofthealphabet.

　　篇3

　　TEACHER:IfIhadsevenorangesinonehandandeightorangesintheother,whatwouldIhave?

　　CLASS:Bighands!

　　篇4

　　TEACHER:Didn'tyoupromisetobehave?

　　STUDENT:Yes,Sir.

　　TEACHER:Anddidn'tIpromisetopunishyouifyoudidn't?

　　STUDENT:Yes,Sir,butsinceIbrokemypromise,Idon'texpectyoutokeepyours.

　　篇5

　　TEACHER:Inthisbox,Ihavea10-feetsnake.

　　SAMMY:Youcan'tfoolme,Teacher...snakesdon'thavefeet.

　　篇6

　　男:Hello,I’mBen.MayIaskyousomequestions?

　　女:Sure.

　　男:Whatisyourfather’sname?

　　女:Happy!

　　男:Then,Whatisyourmother’sname?

　　女:Smile!

　　男:Areyoujoking?

　　女:No!That’smysister!IamKidding.Bytheway,areyouacensusstaff?男:Ofcoursenot.

　　女:Goahead.

　　男:OK.YournameisKidding.Kidding,I'mgoingtostarta

　　band.Willyoujoinus?

　　女:Sure,Ben.I'dlovetobeinaband

　　男:OK,good.Whichinstrumentdoyouplay?Iheardthatyou

　　canplaypianoverywell.

　　女:Piano?Idon'tplayaninstrumentactually.

　　男:Whatareyougoodat?

　　女:Ising.Ilikemusicwithgreatlyrics.

　　男:SodoI.Whoelsedoyouthinkcanjoinus?

　　女:Well,Daveissupposedtobeagoodone.

　　男:Really?Whatdoeshelike?

　　篇7

　　四个人登场,进行自我介绍

　　印度人:Goodmorning,boysandgirls.I’mIndiaandthemonitoroftheclass.

　　中国人:Hello,everyone.I’mChinese.

　　美国人:Hi,I’mAmerican.

　　日本人,自我介绍的时候鞠个躬,显示所谓的礼仪:Hi,I’mJapaneseandmyEnglishisverypoor;

　　Pangbai:DuringtheNationalDay,theytravelledfromXi’anto

　　Shanghaipas***yLuoyang.It’ssaidthatsomeinteresting

　　andfunnystoryhavebeenhappenedwhentheytravelled.

　　Now,theywillshowuswhatactuallyhappenedintheir

　　trip.

　　India:Well,Irentacar,butthecarcanonlytakethreepeople.I

　　haveanideathatwetaketurnstoaskquestions,anybody

　　whogivetherightanswercangeton,orrunfollowingthecar.

　　Doyouagreewithme?

　　三个人异口同声地回答,尤以日本人最活跃.

　　Yes,sir.Noproblem.

　　Inida:Now,asthemonitoroftheclassIwillquestionnow.Areyou

　　ready?

　　三个人再次异口同声地回答,日本人还是最活跃

　　Yes,weareready.

　　India:Hi,American,howmanysuninthesky?

　　American:Suchasimplequestion.Theanswerisonlyone.

　　India:Goodjob.AndChineseguy,howmanymooninthesky?

　　Chinese:Soeasy,it’sone.

　　Japanese:wow,laughing…,阴笑thesequestionsaresosimpleand

　　ourJapanesearesoclever.

　　India:Hi.Japanese.Doyouknowhowmanystarsinthesky?

　　Japanese:Stars?Areyoukiddingme?Sorry,Idon’tknow.

　　India淫笑:I’msorry,youdon’tgivemearightanswer.So,wethreegotoLuoyangbycarandyoufollowus.Let’sgo.对其他两人说.

　　Pangbai:Now,theChinese,theIndia,theAmericantraveto

　　LuoyangbycarandtheJapanesehavetorunfollowingthe

　　car.Severaldayslater,thethreemanhavetakenatourin

　　Luoyangandtheyaretalkingabouttheirfells.Butthe

　　Japaneseisstillonhisway.

　　American:描述一下洛阳,百度多的是,我也是搜的.在此省略了.

　　Chinese:Wehavetogonow,burwhereistheJapanese?

　　Japanese:气喘吁吁地跑过来,弯著腰说Thankgod,Ieupwith

　　youfinally.

　　India:对日本人说AreyouOK?

　　Japanese:立马直起腰Ican’tbefineanymore.嘴硬!

　　India:Good!Now,westartthesecondroundquestioningandChinese

　　guy,Thisisyourhometownandashostyouquestionus.

　　Chinese:OK,it’smyturn.I’llaskquestionsaboutourChinese

　　historyandmonitor,DoyouknowtheLiberationCampaign

　　ofChina.

　　India:Letmesee.It’sLiaoShenWar,PeiPingwarandHuaiHaiWar.

　　Chinese:Absolutelyright.AndAmerican,Doyouknowhowmany

　　soldierssacrificedinthatwar?

　　American:En…,Ithinkit’sabout500,000.

　　Chinese:Good!AndJapanese,doyouknowtheirnames?

　　Japanese:names?苦笑,垂头丧气地,Idon’tknow.

　　Chinese”I’msorry,boy.Youfailedagain.假惺惺地拍拍日本人的肩

　　膀,对其他俩人说,Let’sgo.

　　Pangbai:Anothertime,theJapanesetravelledonfootandtheother

　　threebycar..SuddenlytheymeteachothersomewhereontherodeoutsidetheLuoyangcity.

　　American:Hi.Japanese,howareyou?

　　Japanese:边跑边说,气喘吁吁I’mfine.Thankyou,Andyou?aroundWecan’tbefineanymore.

　　Chinese:SeeyouinShanghai.

　　Pangbai:Severaldayslater.Thethreemenhadenjoyedtheirgood

　　timeinShanghaiandtheJapaneseisstillonhisway.But

　　fortunately,theyhadchangedtheircarforfore-seat.It

　　seemedthattheJapanesestilldon’tknow.Nowtheyare

　　talkingabouttheirfellingaboutShanghai.

　　Chinese:描述上海.百度搜.

　　India”It’sreallyaninterestingjourneyandtimeup,weshouldgo

　　home.ButwhereistheJapanese?

　　Japanese:累死累活的跑过来Waitmeforawhile.I’mhere.India:OK!Let’sgoback.

　　Japanese:wait,wait…,Idon’tthinkit’sfairtome.Ihaverunfrom

　　Xi’antoShanghaiandIhavetoanswerthefirstquestion.India:Whatquestion?

　　American:与中国人对视一笑OK!Ipickoutaquestionforyou.

　　Howmanyleavesinthattree?

　　Japanese:one,two,three…,wow,somany.Ican’tfindtheanswer.

　　Mygod,IhavetorunfromShanghaitoXi’anagain.说完跑开了.

　　Chinese:whatafoolishtheJapaneseman.Ourcarhavefourseats.

　　Whyherunawayagain?

　　India:Beefoolwhenrun,Ithink.

　　Pangbai:Severaldayslater.TheyallbacktoXi’an.Nowtheyare

　　hereandhavingmyclass;“Hi,boys,howisyourtrip?”

　　Japanese:It’sterrible.Iamsotired.

　　Pangbai:youarearealmarathonrunnerandyouthree?

　　India:weallhaveenjoyedthetrip.

　　Pangbai:铃响了Timeflies.Wehavetenminutesbreak.美国人往外走,不小心被日本人撞了一下.发生如下对话.

　　Japanese:I'msorry,sir.

　　American:I'msorry,too.

　　Japanese:two?I'msorrythree?

　　American:Whatareyousorryfor?

　　Japanese:four?I'msorryfive.

　　American:Whatdoyouwanttosay?

　　Teacher:老师听不下去了,生气了.这时,theteachergotdownand

　　knockedtheheadofJapaneseandsaid:Ihavetaughtyoufortwoyears,Whatdidyousayjustnow!Timeup,wehavetheclassnow.

　　Teacher:En......Lastweek,we...

　　此时中国人登场了,打断老师的讲话.

　　Chinese:Mr.Hu,MayIgotothetoilet?

　　Teacher:一挥手,说道Goahead!

　　听到这个这个中国人坐下了.

　　Teacher:Lastweek,we....,,

　　Chinese:Mr.Hu,MayIgotothetoilet?

　　Teacher:呃,再次说道Goahead.

　　听到这个,中国人再次坐下了.一旁的印度人催他去,但他无动于衷.Teacher:Lastweek,we...

　　Chinese:Mr.Hu.MayIgo....

　　Teacher:Don'tdisturbmeanymore.Ihavesaidgoahead,goahead.

　　Whydon'tyougo?

　　Chinese:Youalwaysaythatgoahead,goahead.Itmeans去你个头

　　呀.HowcanIgo?

　　Teacher:Unbelievable!Nowyoucangotothetoilet.

　　Chinese:ButI'mfinenow.Thankyou.

　　Teacher:It'suptoyou.Lastweek,wehaveassignedadialog

　　betweenChineseandAmerican.Andareyoureadynow?Chinese&American:Yes!

　　Teacher:Now,theChineseactsforawaiterandtheAmericanfora

　　foreignguest.Whatwillhappenbetweenthem?

　　Chinese:Hello.

　　American:Hello.

　　Chinese:Youhavewhatthing?

　　American:CanyouspeakEnglish?

　　Chinese:IfInotspeakEnglish,Ispeakwhat?

　　American:IsanybodyelsespeakingEnglish?

　　Chinese:Youyourselflook,Allpeopleareplaying,nopeoplehave

　　time.Youcanwait,younotwaityougo.

　　American:Goodheavens!AnybodyelsecanspeakEnglish?

　　Chinese:Shoutwhatshout!啊,givemealittlequilt.....en....You

　　havewhatthing?

　　American:Iwanttospeaktoyourhead?

　　Chinese:Head?Head今天没来,Tomorrow你来吧.