考研英语作文写作修改谁能帮忙改下

　Asisvividlyshownabove,ontheplaygroundrunsayoungman,

arriving(加at)theterminalpoint,whichisdefinedasanotherstart

one(去掉),andhavingtogoaheadwithoutashortstop(中式思维，改为withouta

break).Simpleasthepictureis,themeaningbehinditisjustasan

oldChineseproverbsays,“AspiretoinspireuntilIexpire.”Nothingcan

beequaledwith(错误表达，应为beequalto，或用comparewith)persistenceamongall

thehumanqualities.What’smore,thepublicattachesdueattentionto

theabovecharacteristicaswell.Thosewhoare

perseverance(perseverant)aremorelikelytoachievesuccess,compared

withthosewhoarenot.Insistencesavesstudentsagreatdealoftime

byeliminatinghoursspentonhesitation,sotheywouldbeableto

concentratemoretimeandenergyontheiracademicworkandobtain

excellentresults.Bycontinuouseffort,notonlycanpeopleaccumulate

wealth,butwillalsoestablishtheircareer,fitintosociety,andeven

attainsocialstatus.Putitanotherway,thespiritofpersistence

shallnotbeperishedfromasuccessfulperson.(perish用在这里不合适，可改为ifyou

wanttobeasuccessfulman，persistenceistheverythingyouneedto

possess.)Forexample,Zhanghaidi,havingdifficultinher

body(中式英语，可改为havingphysicalproblemswithherbody，或者disabled)since

fiveyearsold,withoutpersistence,howcansheaccomplishherstudy?

Withoutpersistence,howcanshebeafamouswriter?Without

persistence,howcanshebeworthyofthetitleof“ContemporaryPaul”?