我想要10个英语小笑话

　　1.Who'sMorePolite?

　　Afatmanandaskinnymanwerearguingaboutwhowasthemorepolite.Theskinnymansaidhewasmorepolitebecausehealwaystippedhishattoladies.Butthefatmanknewhewasmorecourteousbecause,wheneverhegotupandofferedhisseat,twoladiescouldsitdown.

　　2.Q:What'sthedifferencebetweenamonkeyandaflea?

　　A:Amonkeycanhavefleas,butafleacan'thavemonkeys

　　3你的记忆力好吗DoYouHaveaGoodMemoryWife:

　　Doyouhaveagoodmemoryforfaces?

　　Husband:Yes——why?

　　Wife:Ijustbrokeyourshavingmirror.

　　4烤乳猪roastpig

　　Agentlemanwasinvitedfordinner.Whenhehurriedthereandsatdown,hewashappytoseearoastpiginfrontofhisseat:Notbad,Iamnexttothepig.

　　Butthenhenoticedtheangryfatladysittingnexttohim.Hefakedasmileandadded:OhIamsorry,Imeanttheroastedoneonthetable.

　　5.要上头条了oneofus

　　Whiletakingphotosofabeareatingfishintheforest,twojournalistsfoundtheannoyedbeastturnedaroundtochasethem.

　　Inrunning,onejournalistsaidtotheother:Can'trunanymore!Whatshouldwedo?Noidea.Butoneofuswillhavehisphotoontheheadline(tomorrow).repliedhiscolleague.

　　6.大吃一惊BigSurprise

　　Visitor:Isthisahealthyplacetolivein?

　　Localyokel:Yes,sir.WhenIarrivedhere,Icouldn'twalkoreatsolidfood.

　　Visitor:Whatwasthematterwithyou?

　　Localyokel:Nothing---Iwasbornhere.

　　7.手锯的用处TheUseofaHandsawAtthemall,mywifeandIpickedupsomehardwareitems,includingahandsaw.Wewereheadingbacktothecarwhenwepassedasteakhouse.

　　Let'stryit.mywifesuggested.AlthoughIfeltalittlefoolishcarryingthesaw,Ifollowedherinside.

　　Scanningthemenu,mywifetoldthewaitress,I'11havechoppedsirloin,please.

　　Thewaitressturnedtome,eyedmysawandcommented,AndIseethat.you,sir,havecomeforourT-bonespecial.

　　8.便宜的马Cheappriceforahorse

　　Afterhisbelovedhorsedied,amanwantedtoplaceanadinthenewspaperlikethis:Horsesaddleandbridlefor$50.

　　Inadvertentlythepaperaddedacommatothead,whichreadinstead:Horse,saddleandbridlefor$50.

　　Immediatelysomeonerespondedtothead,That''sanawfullycheappriceforahorse,saidthecaller,What''swrongwithyourhorse?

　　Well,heisdead,repliedthemanwhoplacedtheerroneouslytypedad.

　　9.粗心的理发员ACarelessBarber

　　Barber:Wereyouwearingaredscarfwhenyoucamein?Customer:No.　　

　　Barber:Oh,thenImusthavecutyourthroat.

　　10.你爷爷yourgrandfather

　　Awelldressedyoungmandemandedassoonasheenteredtherestaurant:

　　Serveme,quick!Givemeyourbest.Idon'tcaretheprice.

　　Notlikethewayhetalked,thewaitersaidtohim:HeyBuddy,itdoesn'tmatteryouhavealotofmoney.Youarestillsonofsomebody,andgrandsonofsomebodyelse.

　　Theyoungmanraged:Dareyou!Tellme,whowantsmetobehisgrandson?

　　Thewaiterrepliedwithease:Nobody.Justyourgrandfather