简短的英语笑话大全

　　英语笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。本文是简短的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

　　简短的英语笑话：ASmallBoyandaDonkey

　　小男孩与驴子

　　A***allboyleadingadonkeypassedbyanArmycamp.Acoupleofsoldierswantedtohavesomefunwiththelad***少年，小伙子***.Whatareyouholdingontoyourbrothersotightfor,sonny?askedoneofthem.

　　Sohewon'tjointhearmy,theyoungsterrepliedwithoutblinkinganeye.

　　一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：小孩，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么?

　　这样他就不会去参军了。小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。

　　简短的英语笑话：JohnnyTheGambler

　　LittleJohnny'sdadwasaretiredgambler.Havingpickedupafewofhisoldman'sbadhabits,Johnnywageredonanythingandeverything,andhewasgoodatit.Eventually,itbecamesuchaproblem,thatJohnny'steachercalledhisfathertodiscussit.Afteralongconversation,theydecidedtoteachhimalesson.

　　OnedayafterclassJohnnyapproachedhisteacher.You'renotreallyblonde,hesaid.I'veseenyourbushandit'spitchblack,youdyeyourhair.

　　Imostcertainlydonot,shereplied.

　　Ibetyoutenbucksyoudo,hesaid.

　　Shesawthatthiswasanopportunitytoteachhimalesson,soshewaitedforalltheotherchildrentoleavetheclassandtookoffherpants,showinghimthatherpubichairwasthesamecolorasthehaironherhead.Johnnypaidherthetendollarsandwalkedsullenlyoutoftheroom.

　　AfewhourslaterJohnny'steachercalledhisfather.IthinkIfinallytaughthimalesson,shesaid.

　　Thehellyouhave,hisfathersaidangrily.Thismorninghebetme$50he'dseeyourvaginabeforetheendoftheday.

　　简短的英语笑话：AirplaneConversation

　　AstrangerwasseatednexttoLittleJohnnyontheplanewhenthestrangerturnedtotheLittleJohnnyandsaid,Let'stalk.I'veheardthatflightswillgoquickerifyoustrikeupaconversationwithyourfellowpassenger.

　　LittleJohnny,whohadjustopenedhisbook,closeditslowly,andsaidtothestranger,Whatwouldyouliketodiscuss?

　　Oh,Idon'tknow,saidthestranger.Howaboutnuclearpower?

　　OK,saidLittleJohnny.Thatcouldbeaninterestingtopic.

　　Butletmeaskyouaquestionfirst.Ahorse,acow,andadeeralleatgrass.Thesamestuff.Yetadeerexcreteslittlepellets,whileacowturnsoutaflatpatty,andahorseproducesclumpsofdriedgrass.Whydoyousupposethatis?

　　Jeez,saidthestranger.Ihavenoidea.

　　Well,then,saidLittleJohnny,Howisitthatyoufeelqualifiedtodiscussnuclearpowerwhenyoudon'tknowshit?

　　简短的英语笑话：NoTemperTantrumsOnThisPlane

　　Asacrowdedairlinerisabouttotakeoff,thepeaceisshatteredbya5-year-oldboywhopicksthatmomenttothrowawildtempertantrum.Nomatterwhathisfrustrated,embarrassedmotherdoestotrytocalmhimdown,theboycontinuestoscreamfuriouslyandkicktheseatsaroundhim.

　　Suddenly,fromtherearoftheplane,anelderlymanintheuniformofanAirForceGeneralisseenslowlywalkingforwarduptheaisle.Stoppingtheflusteredmotherwithanupraisedhand,thewhite-haired,courtly,soft-spokenGeneralleansdownand,motioningtowardhischest,whisperssomethingintotheboy'sear.

　　Instantly,theboycalmsdown,gentlytakeshismother'shand,andquietlyfastenshisseatbelt.Alltheotherpassengersburstintospontaneousapplause.

　　AstheGeneralslowlymakeshiswaybacktohisseat,oneofthecabinattendantstoucheshissleeve.

　　Excuseme,General,sheasksquietly,butcouldIaskyouwhatmagicwordsyouusedonthatlittleboy?

　　Theoldman***ilesserenelyandgentlyconfides,Ishowedhimmypilot'swings,servicestars,andbattleribbons,andexplainedthattheyentitlemetothrowonepassengerouttheplanedooronanyflightIchoose.

　　简短的英语笑话：Dogjokes

　　Q:WhatdoyougetifyoucrossadogwithConcorde?

　　A:Ajetsetter!

　　Q:Whatdodogshavethatnootheranimalhas?

　　A:Puppydogs!

　　Q:Whydidthedachshundbitethewoman'sankle?

　　A:Becausehewasshortandcouldn'treachanyhigher!

　　Q:WheredoEskimostraintheirdogs?

　　A:Inthemushroom!

　　Q:WhydidthesnowmancallhisdogFrost?

　　Becausefrostbites!

　　Q:Whatdoyougetifyoucrossagiraffewithadog?

　　A:Ananimalthatbarksatlowflyingaircraft!

　　Q:Whatdoyoucallanalcoholicdog?

　　A:Awhino!

　　Q:WhatisthedifferencebetweenFatherChristmasandawarmdog?

　　A:FatherChristmaswearsawholesuit,adogjustpants!

　　Q:Whenisthemostlikelytimethatastraydogwillwalkintoyourhouse?

　　A:Whenthedoorisopen!

　　Q:Whydon'tdogsmakegooddancers?

　　A:Becausetheyhavetwoleftfeet!