五个英语小笑话

五个英语小笑话

　　一男养一猪,特烦它,就想把它给扔了,但是此猪认得回家的路,扔了好多次都没有成功.某日,此人驾车弃猪,当晚打电话给他的妻子问：猪归否?其妻曰：归矣.男非常气愤,大吼道：快让它接电话,我迷路了.

　　Amanraisingapig,especiallyannoyingit,wantittothrowitaway,butthepigsknowthewayhome,throwseveraltimeswithoutsuccess.Oneday,themandrivingabandonedpig,nighttocallhiswifeasked:whethertothepig?Hiswifesaid:tocarryon.Angrymen,biggrowl:letitanswerthephone,I'mlost.

　　昨天和一同学聊最近小三猖獗.他说他有一次在他爸爸的手机里有一个人的'名字存储为老婆,但是号码不是他妈妈.背着父亲战战兢兢回过去,发现是一位大叔.他最后自我劝慰说,可能有人姓婆吧.

　　Yesterdayandaclassmateinrecentthreerampant.Hesaidthathehadatimeinhisfather'smobilephoneinthenameofapersonisstoredasawife,butnothismother.他大惊,Hewascarryinghisfatherback,tremblingwithfear,discoveryisanuncle.Heconsoledhimselflast,mayhavethesurnamePo.

　　有天晚上从学校外面的网吧出来,因为结了冰,不小心脚一滑,在即将摔倒的时候,我拉住了一个经过的男生并且惊叫了一声：妈呀!结果那男生结结巴巴的说了一句：你,你,你认错人了.就匆匆走了..

　　OnedayintheeveningfromoutsidetheschoolInternetbarcomesout,becausetheice,accidentallyslipped,inthefall,Ipulledbyaboyandscreamed:omg!Resultstheboyshesitatinginspeakingtosay:you,you,you.Leftinahurry..

　　一个人生病了去打点滴,因为赶时间他加快点滴的速度,医生看到了就调慢了,医生走了他又调快了.医生叫他不要调快但是他不听,医生生气道：真赶时间,那你喝了吧.

　　Amanilltodrip,becauseinahurryheacceleratedtheintravenousdripspeed,thedoctorsawthetransferisslow,thedoctorcameandhetransferredquickly.Thedoctortoldhimnottofastbuthedidnot,thedoctorgetsangry:reallypressedfortime,youdrinkit.

　　明天公司内部考核,我和一互有好感的女同事.我：我要去参加比赛了,给点儿精神上的鼓励吧!MM：一个内部比赛瞎激动什么,再说我也不会精神上的鼓励,就会肉体的.我：你...怎么突然对我这么好...MM：想什么美事儿呢,你要过不去,我就抽死你.

　　Tomorrowthecompanyinternalexamination,andIlikedeachotherfemalecolleagues.I:Iwanttojointhegame,givesomespiritualencouragement!MM:aninnerraceblindexcited,sayIwillnotspiritualencouragement,willthebody.I:you...Howsuddenlysogoodtome...MM:whatgoodthings,youhavetogothrough,Iwilltakeyoutodeath.