7人搞笑英语话剧，十分钟左右的急！跪求！！

英语剧剧本：搞笑英语剧：三笑三（漆表演）场介绍：Ladiesandgentlemen,letmeintroducttheactor.Thefirstiszhaoyun,heisthemostactortonight.andhisblackbrotherzhangfei,andtherebossliubei.don'tforgottheothersideMrcao,andhisadviserJiangGan,andthemoststrongXiaHouDun.Atlast,don'tforgetwhobehindthescenesME----theDirector.第幕：物赵云夏侯惇曹操蒋干　　　旁白：刚才久黑汉曹操军救刘备刘阿斗现向杀张飞（赵云场）Nottoolongago,ablackgeneralsavedthesonofLiuBei,LiuAdou.now,heiscoming.HisnameisZhangfei.　　赵云：no本姓赵名云乃山龙no!myfamilynameiszhaomymiddlenameisyunandmygivennameiszilong~（赵云背拿坨布代表阿斗）赵云：看主公点骨血刘阿斗我火场救我自脸却早已……唉……化作焦炭（顾影自怜状）look!thisisthelastbloodoftheboss!liuedou.itookhimoutfromthefire,butmyfacehanealready...ai~.（夏侯敦挺着枪呈猫腰状杀）夏侯敦：贼莫跑要我杀戒（冲）Childrenstopthereoriwillkillyou（赵云左手抱阿斗右手与搏斗）赵云：恶居敢偷袭我fuck,!!youbitchdaretoattackme??（二装腔作势打斗数招）赵云：看我九阴白骨爪stop!!wait!!!onetwothree...ninedarkwhitebonefingers!!夏侯敦：唔（倒）ohmygadi'mover赵云：宜久留快寻主公（）yeah~bitchiwillgotolookformyboss,goodbye~（曹操、蒋干二）曹操：没想我初兵便杀敌望风逃真谓师未捷身先死使英雄泪满襟Ididn'texpectthatwecanbeattheenemywithourfirstattack.Itremindsmeofapoem,DeadBeforetheShipEvenSank.LongtheheroTearful蒋干：丞相您说真见吉利Primeminister,Itdoesnotsoundgoodaboutwhatyouhavesaid;（曹操险些夏侯敦绊倒）曹操：咦谁扔西瓜皮（转身看见倒夏侯敦）Huh?Whothrewthebananarind?曹操：夏侯卿难道搞行艺术DonotXiahouDun?Isheengagedinwhatiscalledperformanceart?（蒋干前夏侯敦顿拍打二站起）曹操：夏侯卿何要装西瓜皮Whydoyouwanttoinstallbananarindontheground?夏侯敦：脸黑炭手抱孩thereisaveryblackpeoplewithababyinhisband蒋干：敌保姆带孩itIsenemy'smaidwithachildinhisarm.曹操：呢Whatdidyoudo?　夏侯敦：iii……irushedtohimandfightwithhimi'mfighttingfighttingfightting我我……我冲与打斗打打打曹操：呢Whatthen?　蒋干：丞相看夏侯军杀退敌Primeminister,itislikelythatgeneralXiahouhasdefeatedtheenemy夏侯敦：唔唔（手势：指指门外右手作九随即作全身发冷状指向自衣服再指向曹操作爪击状）　曹操：呢Thenwhathappened?　夏侯敦：nononoIwasdefeatedheusedtheninecloudwhitebonefinger,it'ssoterrible（曹操、蒋干二夏侯敦拉起）曹操：看敌应该没走远咱乘胜追击（慷慨状）Itseemsthattheenemyshouldnotgofar.Let'srunafterthem.蒋干：候我真佩服丞相您乐观理……（赞同状）SometimesIreallyadmiresprimeministerverymuchaboutyouroptimisticpsychology......夏侯敦：唔唔唔唔~（抡起两拳作欲与敌搏斗状）（三）第二幕:物：刘备张飞诸葛亮赵云　　（刘备、张飞、诸葛亮三）旁白：刘备行军营外观看敌情~~~LiuBeiandhisteamarelookingsomethingoutofhismilitarycamp.　　、（诸葛亮走前面张飞、刘备二紧跟其）诸葛亮：（转）主公啊按理说您走先啦（恭敬状）oldliuah,youshouldwalkinfrontofus!Isnotit?刘备：啦军师您身块荫凉躲避避暑错Noit'sverycoolthatIstandjustbehindyouIcanavoidsummerheat诸葛亮：（眺望状）主公我所料错现马要雨liuah,comehere!Itellyouasecret!Ithinkitisabouttorain!刘备：先神算所及知先何知道要雨greatpredictionNoonecancomparewithyoujustwonderhowdoyouknowit'sgoingtorain诸葛亮：首先气预报说今雨；其（手指前）看边块黑云First,theweatherreporttoldusitisgoingtoraintoday;second,lookatthesky,somanydarkcloudsarecoming!（赵云）张飞：哇龙啊想见龙换新桌面啊Ha!Thatispersonwhocalledlongah,Icouldnotbelievethatyouhavechangdanewtabletopwithoutaminute!（张飞迎）张飞：龙long赵云：翼德救我help!!!brotherthree.（张飞）赵云：主公云殊死力战保主许久见啼哭怕已经……（悲愤状取布包打并捧着）boss,ihavetridmybesttoprotectthelittleboss.butithavealongtimetohearnothing.iamafraid...赵云：kao没良居能睡着跟爹oh~shit.howcanthesonofbitchgetinasleep.justlikehisfather刘备：咳咳（赵云转身面向刘备）诸葛亮：龙我说嘴少门总能啥实都往外说啊Zilong,notItellyou,althoughitistrue,youshouldnotsayitout!（刘备怒视诸葛亮诸葛亮恍知赵云前阿斗递给刘备刘备捧着阿斗）刘备：倒楣孩几乎损我员啊我留着赶啊我摔死吧becauseofyouIalmostloseabravegeneralWhydoIkeepyoualiveletmekillyou（阿斗摔）（赵云前准阿斗狂踹数脚诸葛亮前拉住赵云始终作势欲踢诸葛亮用身体压住赵云走前脚阿斗踢飞）旁白：今阿斗智力便现明显发育迟缓……Thisiswhyliuadouissofoolishthatlosthiscountry.赵云：咦见关二哥呢yi~~whereisbrothetwoGuanYu?刘备：二弟昨军师摆八卦阵冲撞马候闪着腰现休养呢：HelayouttheBaGuaZhenformilitaryadviseryesterday,butwhenherushedout,hegethiswaisttwisted,nowhestayinbed.诸葛亮：哎太糟糕看我健康健壮告诉喝三鹿奶粉（自恋状）Oh,Itissobad!Lookatme,sohealthy,sostrong!tellhimtodrinkmoresanlumilkpowder!　赵云：给孩喝（走前抚摸诸葛亮做怜惜状）soyoudrinktobeafoolish?曹操（台）：啊~（惨烈）刘备：难道三弟重操旧业咱快看看Didzhangfeireturntoone'sformercareerGotoseewhathappen?（三）第三幕：物张飞曹操夏侯蒋干刘备诸葛亮　　旁白：间拨三钟前张飞战坂坡……Gobacktothreeminutesbeforethetimesetasidezhangfeifightwithcaocao'sarmyonchangbanpo（张飞台转圈京剧拿柱般亮相定格）曹操蒋干：嘿嘿嘿嘿（奸笑）夏侯敦：唔唔唔唔……（奸笑）（三奸笑台）代写剧本至美.jiaokedu中国张飞：哇火腿肠拉Wa!You,Thehotdog,comeback!夏侯敦：我靠黑黑都牛x我怕blackmancomeagainBlacksareverypowerfuli'mafaid曹操：阁何何竟美妙声音Excuseme.MayIknowyourname?Whatawonderfulvoiceyouhave!张飞：我便燕（yān）张翼德（咬牙）IamZhangYidefromjingdu!(clenchesteeth)曹操：阉原太监……夏侯敦解决Youarethesocalledcoward,aren'tyou?xiahou,beatit!（夏侯敦低猫腰冲）夏侯敦：唔唔~唔（二打起）（定格）蒋干：丞相仗咱必输桥断水倒流呢快叫夏侯军吧Primeminister,wemusthavelosethisCampaign,thebridgewillalsocutoffthewatersoon!Let'scallXiahougeneraltogetdownquickly曹操：知道Howdouyouknowit?蒋干：《真三双叁》坂任务啊Really,itisthegame'sdutyofThreecountriesUnparalleledThree!!曹操：干啊我看太沉迷于中国络游戏既浪费间海身体听丞相句吧珍命远离三俗啊Ithinkyouaretooaddictedtoonlinegames.Whatawasteoftime,andIt'sharmful,listentome,Youmusttakegoodcareofyourself.（张飞与夏侯敦二继续张飞枪击夏侯敦）夏侯敦：ohmygadiamoveragain打败（蒋干前夏侯敦拖）曹操：唉今世道变太监都厉害啦Whydoesthatcowardbecomesobrave?　　　张飞：曹贼听着今汝等必能桥cao,stopstalking!Todayyouallcan'tpassthisbridgewithaliveone!曹操：汝休猖狂今要我手典韦身死许诸拉稀于禁肺炎李典麻疹文聘肝癌张辽痔疮才输给shutup!Ifgeneraldianweiwasstillalive,Wewouldnotbedefeated!张飞：手终究用啊面景请我真想赋诗首——Nobodymaygotobattleforyou,Facingthisscenery,ireallywanttosingasong.er,on......On......（音乐起）onlyyou~~~~~only……you……（夏侯敦跃起）夏侯敦：唔唔唔……（手捂耳跑）曹操：啊（惨厉叫声并手捂耳）蒋干：啊（惨厉叫声并手捂耳）曹操：难道传说门尔松c调《鬼叫》协奏曲何震撼（惊惶状）Whyisthissoshocking!　蒋干：（手指张飞）快看丞相桥断水始倒流啦（转身手捂耳）Look,Primeminister!Thebridgebroke!Thewateralsostartstoflowbackwards（音效：山崩裂声）曹操：aaaaaaaaaa（痛苦吐血状）（定格）（诸葛亮、刘备、赵云三）诸葛亮：别唱啦再唱曹操给唱死啦Donotsingmore,ok?ifyougoonsinging,CaoCaowilldiebecauseofyoursong!刘备：三弟快打住（手捂耳）Stop,stop（手捂耳）张飞：onlyyou~~~~~only……you……（余音绝）刘备：龙快三弟扛Zilongcarryzhangfeibackquickly赵云：ok（赵云前手捂住张飞嘴扛走张飞依旧唱停）（张飞、赵云二）旁白：首歌传唱至今经久衰叫做：onlyyou~~~~sincethen,asongbecomeveryveryfamous.Thenameis《OnlyYou》.(歌声再响起众谢幕~~