关于好笑易懂的英语笑话

　　冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网路、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。我精心收集了，供大家欣赏学习!

　　：Farmer'sBull

　　Farmer:I'vegotabullthat'srightoffitduties.It'sgottoservice300cowsandallitwantstodoiseat.

　　Vet:Giveitoneoftheselittlepillsinitsfeedandstandback.

　　So2weekslaterthefarmeresbacktothevet:

　　Farmer:WOW,whatapill!IgavethepilltothebulllikeyousaidandPOW!Itjumpedoverthegate,randownthelaneand***ed70cowsin30minutes.

　　Vet:So,what'stheproblem-whyhaveyoueback?

　　Farmer:Well,Iwaswondering,Iammeetingthis18-year-oldtonight-couldyougivemeoneofthosetablets?I'mnotasyoungasIwas.

　　Vet:Oh,no!Sorry,it'stoostrongbutIwillgiveyouaquarterofapill.

　　Sothefarmertakesthepillandgoesofftoprepareforhisdate.Severaldayslater,thefarmergoesbacktotheVet.

　　Farmer:Hello,Vet.Wonderful.40Times.

　　Vet:So,whyhaveyoueback?Farmer:Ah!Ineedsomethingformywrist-shenevershowedup!

　　：Farmer'sDaughter

　　Therewasamenwhoislostinaforestduringastorm.Hecametoahouseandknockedonthedoor.Afarmercameoutandasked,whatthehelldoyouwant?

　　Themanasked,CouldIspendanighthere?

　　Sure,butyoucan'ttouchmydaughter.

　　Sothemanwassleepingthatnight,whenthedaughtercamein.Andthatnight,theydidit.Thenextnight,theydidit,too.Thenextnight,theydidit,again.

　　Untilonenight,thedaughtersaidtotheman,Iamtiredofdoingitinyourroom.

　　Sothemanwenttothedaughter'sroomanddidit.Thenextnight,theydiditThenextnight,theydidit,tooThenextnight,theydiditagain.

　　TheyhavedoneitineverysingleroominthehouseEXECPTthefather'sroom.

　　Soonenighttheydecidedtogotothefather'sroomanddoit.Whentheywentin,thefatherhasfallendeepintosleep.

　　Themanasked,whatthehellisthathairythinginhisbed?

　　Thedaughtersaid,it'shishairyass

　　Sothemanandthedaughterweredoingitinhisroomfor2weeksandtheylovedit.

　　Butunfortunatly,oneday,thefathercametothemanandgo,weneedtotalk.

　　What,Ididn'thavesexwithyourdaughter!

　　Iwilltellyouthetruth,Idon'tcareifyouhavesexwithmydaughteranymore,justdon'tusemyhairyassasascoreboard!

　　：Rooster

　　Anoldfarmerdecideditwastimetogetanewroosterforhishens.Thecurrentroosterwasstilldoinganokayjob,buthewasgettingoninyears.Andthefarmerfiguredgettinganewroostercouldn'thurtanything.Sohebuysayoungcockfromthelocalroosteremporium,andturnshimlooseinthebarnyard.

　　Well,theoldroosterseestheyoungonestruttingaroundandhegetsalittleworried.'So,they'retryingtoreplaceme,thinkstheoldrooster.I'vegottodosomethingaboutthis.'Hewalksuptothenewbirdandsays,Soyou'rethenewstudintown?Ibetyoureallythinkyou'rehotstuff,don'tyou?Well,I'mnotreadyforthechoppingblockyet.I'llbetI'mstillthebetterbird.Andtoproveit,Ichallengeyoutoaracearoundthathenhouseoverthere.We'llrunaroundittentimesandwhoeverfinish'sfirstgetstohaveallthehensforhimself.

　　Well,theyoungroosterwasaproudsort,andhedefinitelythoughthewasmorethanamatchfortheoldguy.You'reon,saidtheyoungrooster.AndsinceIknowI'msogreat,I'llevengiveyouaheadstartofhalfalap.I'llstillwineasy,saidtheyoungrooster.

　　Sothetworoostersgoovertothehenhousetostarttheracewithallthehensgatheringaroundtowatch.Theracebeginsandallthehensstartcheeringtheroosterson.Afterthefirstlap,theoldroosterisstillmaintaininghislead.Afterthesecondlap,theoldguy'sleadhasslippedalittlebuthe'sstillhanginginthere.Unfortunatelytheoldrooster'sleadcontinuestoslipeachtimearound,andbythefifthlaphe'sjustbarelyinfrontoftheyoungrooster.

　　Bynowthefarmerhasheardallthemotion.Herunsintothehouse,getshisshotgun,andrunsouttothebarnyardfiguringafoxorsomethingisafterhischickens.Whenhegetsthere,heseesthetworoostersrunningaroundthehenhouse,withtheoldroosterstillslightlyinthelead.Heimmediatelytakeshisshotgun,aims,fires,andblowstheyoungroosteraway.

　　Ashewalksawayslowly,hesaystohimself...Damn,that'sthethirdgayroosterI'veboughtthismonth.

　　：Pigs

　　Afarmerwasworriedthatnoneofhispigsweregettingpregnant.Hecalledavetandaskedwhatheshoulddoifhewantedmorepigs.Thevettoldhimheshouldtryartificialinsemination.Thefarmer,notwantingtoappearstupid,answeredokayandhungupthephone.Unclearonwhatthevetmeantbyartificialinsemination,thefarmerdecideditmustmeanhehadtoimpregnatethepigshimself,soheloadedallthepigsinhispickupanddrovedowntothewoodsandshaggedthemall.

　　Thenextdayhecalledthevetagain,andaskedhowwouldheknowifthepigswerepregnant.Thevettoldhimtheywouldbelyingdownrollinginthemud,butwhenhelookedoutthewindownotevenonewaslyingdown.So,heloadedthemupinhispickupagainanddrovethemtothewoodsandshaggedthemallagain.Tohisdi***aytheywereallstandingthenextmorning.So,againheloadsthepigsinhistruckdrivesthemtothewoodsandshagsthemforthethirdtime.

　　Bythenextmorningthefarmerisbeat,soheaskshiswifetohopoutofbedandlookoutthewindowtoseewhatthepigsaredoing.Shesayshmmm-that'sweird,theyareallinthetruckandoneofthemisblowingthehorn.