英语写作问题

一、原文句子修改意见

1.Moreandmorepeoplechoosetostudyabroadduringtheseyears.没有语法错误，不过现在完成进行时更好，改为——

Moreandmorepeoplehavebeenchoosingtostudyabroadtheseyears.（越来越多的人这些年都在选择出国留学）

2.Somepeoplesuggestthatstudyingabroadhasashortcoming.存在语法错误。动词suggest后的宾语从句表示的是作者的建议，必须用委婉的虚拟语气，应该改为——

Somepeoplesuggestthatstudyingabroad(should可以省略)haveashortcoming.

3.Theyholdthepointthatstudyingabroadneedstogiveupdomesticbasiceducation.本句中有两处需要修改：

a) that引导的是同位语从句，只起到补充说明point内涵的的作用，并不起限定作用，因此主句应该写成Theyholdapoint；

b) 动词needtodosth.只能用具有行为能力的名词作主语，而动名词短语studyingabroad不具有行为能力，因此不能这样用；

可以有两种改法——

*thosewhoplantostudyabroadneedtogiveupdomesticbasiceducation.(留学的人需要放弃国内的基础教育)

*studyingabroadmeansgivingupdomesticbasiceducation.（留学意味着放弃国内的基础教育）

4.However,inmyopinion,studyingabroadhasmanyadvantages.改为下面的写法更加地道——

Inmyopinion,studyingabroad,however,hasmanyadvantages

5.Thereasonsarepresentedbelow改为Thereasonsarepresentedasfollows：

二、作为论文，这一段已经无可非议地提出你要论证的问题，符合论文的要求，不过原来的段落基本都是用比较简单的句子表述的，是否应该改为较为复杂一些的结构，使其更加符合论文的行文特点，如：

第一种：Therearemoreandmorepeoplechoosingtostudyabroadtheseyears.Somepeoplesuggestthatstudyingabroadhaveashortcoming,inrespectthattheyholdtheviewpointthatthosewhoplantostudyabroadneedtogiveupdomesticbasiceducation.Inmyopinion,studyingabroad,however,hasmanyadvantagesThereasonsarepresentedasfollows：

第二种：Moreandmorestudentshavebeenchoosingtostudyabroadtheseyears,whoinsistthatdoingsowouldbesuretofurthertheirstudiesthere.Tothecontrary,somepeoplesuggestthatstudyingabroadshouldhaveashortcoming,inrespectthattheyholdtheviewpointthatthosewhoplantostudyabroadneedtogiveupdomesticbasiceducation.Inmyopinion,studyingabroad,however,hasmanyadvantages,whicharepresentedasfollows：